Between Two Halves
by xThe Painted Lady
Summary: Sirius had to choose one night what half of him truly belonged. He would never say it was hard. *to be revised*


_**A/N: **Written for the Round III of Fire The Canon's October Fanfiction Tournaments on the HPFC Forum._

_Enjoy._

* * *

The moonlight is an arch over the star strewn sky, and Sirius' face is illuminated by its light. He forces himself not to jump at the sound of the gushing wind through the trees but he's pushed from his seat near the window at the sound of the playful breeze. If he were dreaming that sound would've been a wolf howl, but he's wide awake and his thoughts never seem to leave his friends these days.

His home is a silent prison.

He doesn't bother to look at the clock. He knows that it's well passed midnight just by glancing out the window and looking to where the full moon lay in the sky. He moves towards his bed, but freezes at the sound of something clanking down the hall.

The house is always silent in the night, and the only thing Sirius would normally wake to is the sound of Kreacher's shuffling footsteps from outside his room. He's darted from the bedside to the door in seconds, but turns the knob so quietly that it doesn't even wake the sleeping portrait that hangs just outside. He surveys the dark hallway for a moment, before he begins to move towards the sound.

It clanks only once, but Sirius knows where the sound had come from so he doesn't bother looking through any other room or closet as he makes his way down the hall. Some of the portraits wake to watch him, some curiously, others irritatingly. His footsteps were like pebbles on water, quiet but loud enough to catch anyone near enough's attention. But he ignores the paintings, making his way into the sitting room.

It's illuminated by only the moon and the curtains have yet to be drawn. He's motionless for a moment, discovering nothing is there. He walks towards the window, a sigh threatening to escape his lips but he's quiet, unaware of the eyes following behind him.

The stars are suddenly much brighter now. But the moon is blocked from his view because of a passing cloud. The shadow against the wall is staring at him with with its faceless gaze, turning a long tube-like object over in its hands.

Sirius doesn't notice it, instead his mind drifts. He doesn't need to see the moon to know that it's full. His mind wanders onto Remus, but he already knows what his friend's going through at the moment.

He dwells on it anyway.

His head is supported by his hand, and he doesn't realise that he's starting to doze when footsteps sound behind him. He ignores it. His family and home together make everything hell but nothing can hurt him.

The room is suddenly illuminated with bright light and Sirius' eyes snap open, taken over by shock. He feels his heart jump into his throat and he pushes himself away from the window. He falls against the wall.

He doesn't need telling that his father barely ever holds emotion, but his face is clearly mocking.

"Calm, Sirius," he says. His voice is quiet - it always was. He moves towards the window Sirius had been sitting at and replaces the old telescope back against the wall. Sirius watches him all the while.

He opens his mouth but his question is already answered. Sirius watches his father tighten the ring around the glass with his hands, before he places his wand back inside the pocket of his robes.

This is one of the few times Sirius remains in the same room with his father. He spends most of his time shut up in his room and is quite happy with it if it means he doesn't have to be reminded that he lives with the people he does. But he watches as his father moves from the window to the wall where the ancient tapestry hangs. Sirius remains glued in his spot near the wall, not bothering to move even when his father raises his wand and lights it. He'd give anything to go back up to his room, and that's exactly what he moves to do. But his father's voice stops him.

"Amazing how we're all connected..." he muses. Sirius watches his lips, but he already knows what he'll say next. "No matter what."

Sirius wastes no time in leaving after that.

A week later, his name has been blasted off the Black family tree and Sirius watches the sky from the window of James' house. James' parents have welcomed Sirius with more kindness than he would have ever thought. He feels liberated, like he's been freed from a cage. But he watches the stars pass over the arches of moonlight in the sky, wondering what his father be doing now. Perhaps watching him, doing the exact same thing as his son. Sirius knows he'd abandoned his other half that night he'd stepped out from his old home, however. His father would never think of him the same way again.

* * *

_**A/N: **Oh my lord... Writing Orion. O.O Eh... Oh well._

_I know the "two halves" thing was never explained. It would've been if I had the time but ran out of it so... I might revise this later but who knows. What it's supposed to mean is that part of Sirius will always be part of the Black family no matter what, even if he chooses to abandon it. The other part is that side of Sirius that never will be part of the Black family... Which is basically his mindset and goals. _

_I'm not sure if that even made sense but... _

_Thanks for reading, and please review._

_~ Painted Lady_


End file.
